The Sensitive Child

Sensitivity is about temperament and how you were born. It’s not something children choose or parents create. A highly sensitive child can react more deeply to their experiences in the world.  

They can have big reactions to even minor changes in their environment and to seemingly little things. I know this to be true myself as my son Xavier is highly sensitive and this can often be misunderstood even by us as his parents. He is determined and passionate and can be very empathetic.  If he hears a child cry, he can get upset himself. Xavier is very responsive to the physical and emotional world around him. He is highly sensitive to sensory input, sights, sounds, tastes, smells and/or textures. 

At the age of two we took Xavier to a busy indoor play centre and the sound and lighting was very intense. The shoes came off and that was as far as we got, and a complete meltdown ensued.  No amount of words, coaxing or convincing could change anything until his emotions had subsided.  All we could do was keep him safe as the flight or fight response kicked in. I had become aware of this at six months old, when I took Xavier to his first Christmas sensory party.  From then on, I was more aware of his reactions to different situations i.e. taking him to new places. Seeing new people could be very intense for him & us and we kept thinking it would change as he grew older.  Now I realise that is just how he is and it’s about how we manage things that makes the difference.

A highly sensitive child’s world can feel overwhelming. The ways they cope with this is by their need to control - for them this helps to make daily life more manageable.  I notice this with Xavier in his perfectionistic tendencies and controlling where we go, what we do and even where we sit. I also notice he has a hard time losing, not being able to do something or being corrected as he sees that as a failure. His coping mechanism is either getting angry, laughing or running away.  This to him provides relief from a flood of difficult emotions.

Teaching and learning how to better manage emotions and adapt to the world is the key to helping sensitive children manage some of the more challenging aspects of their sensitivity.  I’ve come to expect Xavier needing to melt down and I acknowledge his feelings, stay present and keep calm myself whilst also providing tools to help. 

The tools that have helped us are: breathing techniques, reiki, massage, dōTERRA certified pure tested grade essential oils, dōTERRA Aromatouch Technique, making sure Xavier is always wearing his Gialife Pendant and Guards on technology devices he is using and those around him.